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[Feb11'2007 07:32PM] |
i am tired.
let me start over.
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[Nov04'2006 04:53PM] |
Called to see if your back was still aligned and your sheets were growing grass all on the corners of your bed.
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[Oct11'2006 11:18PM] |
things are alot better now. my head is the same place as my heart. no more confusion and radical behavior.
well, while everyone is working their asses off in school, i am doing the opposite. first period i sit in the back of mrs. ritz's classroom, watching 9th graders not do their work and occasionally, i'll run some papers off for the teacher. 2nd period, i get to make stupid bullshit art for mrs. pilchard that has absolutely no depth at all and sit secluded from everyone else except this girl who talks to herself and has (seriously) a 2inch pinky nail that scrapes across the paper when shes drawing. for 2 periods straight, i say but 10 words. i dont go to lunch. instead i go to the library where i dont say a word to anybody at all as well.
the 2nd part of my day consists of going to vo tech to be with people who are immature and annoying as shit. 3rd period, pyschology which is a joke. i feel like i am in the kindergarten class of pyschology where all i do is copy down the bold type in the book and its definitions.
last period is graphic design where i have to be around 4 other people with no common sense, who are clueless and who think panda bears can speak to humans. i make signs for autoshops and people who run for county commissioners positions. i cuss, tell the teacher hes a jerk and tell everybody else how to do their jobs.
then i go home, look at porn, watch tv and then go to bed and wake up and do the whole thing over again.
it takes no effort at all in my day. none at all. and its getting ridiculous to be exact.
for some reason, i cant make time to see my friends, send them messages or talk to them on the phone.
im gaining alot of weight and im not doing a damn thing about it.
im not sure what it is.
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[Sep20'2006 11:29PM] |
Took a vacation, my palate got clean
Now I could taste your agenda
While you're spitting your cud
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[Sep10'2006 12:41AM] |
lately ive left my mind.
i'm sorry if i havent been there for alot of you.
the truth is i dont know what i feel
but alot of the time i feel alone and its no ones responsibility to make me feel "whole", its not techincally a bad thing either.
i'm not begging for anyones time ever.
its weird and i dont want anyone to think that i dont care because deep down i do even if i dont show it.
school is messing with my head.
i keep going further and further away from people as the years go by.
i like being alone alot, just not feeling alone in a room full of people.
at this point in time, i'm calling it all by ear.
i don't know whats going to happen, i'm just letting it work out on its own.
p.s.
jesse and i have solved our differences.
i'm taking him out on a date on the 24th, it's our 6 month anni.
things keep getting better and better with him as the days come.
i'm happy for that and us.
he's really beautiful to me.
i shouldn't have acted the way i did to him.
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[Sep01'2006 11:47AM] |
I'm starting again.
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[Sep01'2006 11:40AM] |
I fell asleep this morning around 6.a.m. with every brain splitting thought of killing stupid assholes that I have to associate with in school. I don't belong there.
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[Aug19'2006 12:47PM] |
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i rather be asleep than awake.
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[Aug01'2006 01:24AM] |
my life is slowly but surely becoming drama free and i love that.
i strongly recommend it to everybody if you dont already have it.
[EDIT]
IF YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE A DRAMA FREE LIFE:
1. DON'T TAKE SHIT FROM ANYBODY
2. DO WHAT YOU WANT AND DO IT WELL
3. NO REGRETS
4. DON'T START SHIT
5. GET PLENTY OF SLEEP.
THAT IS ALL.
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[Jan01'2006 11:01PM] |
here we go again.
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